“Are you so scared people will hate you?”
“What?” I stare at him, not knowing how
to react. “What are you talking about?”
He gestures at the phone. “Your emails are
like one big cry. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug, please
like me, please like me!”
― Sophie Kinsella, I’ve Got Your Number
Hey there, precious!
So I’m picking at something I first picked up back in September, but from a different light today.
And I know it’s something a lot of us have personal battles with.
(That was also my first re-blogged article!
Oh, and yeah, this is a requested post.
If you’d like to read something on a particular topic, hit me up 🙂 )
So, did you read the previous post?
If you think you’d like to start from that, it’s still on the blog! !
However, I skipped one important piece.
And I’d be sharing now.
Our world is in a mess, and it’s messing with a lot of our heads — agreed.
If you’re battling with insecurities right now, the previous post will be helpful, no doubt, but it doesn’t end there.
I think there was a time I thought it did.
You can delete your Instagram account, stay away from toxic friends, avoid those depressing musics on the days nothing is going well, you can go out more so you don’t end up thinking too much, but honestly?
When you’re filled with insecurities to the brim, it’s still difficult — am I right?
So what now?
You can run away from all of these things, but you cannot hide from yourself.
From your thoughts, from your mind, from how you see yourself when you look into the mirror.
And sweetie, nothing (and I can defend this statement of mine anywhere), nothing can possibly change the way you see yourself.
That’s your responsibility.
So,I know a girl.
She grew up with a lot of self doubt and timidity.
And unfortunately, she found herself around the wrong people who ignited those doubts and it naturally grew into full blown insecurities that took forever for her to wash off.
When she opened up to me, she wasn’t already over her insecurities.
And those demons didn’t disappear because I told her how amazing she is and because she read my blog alone.
They didn’t get washed off even when she grew from an “ugly duckling” to becoming one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen.
They didn’t wash off because she got a scholarship to go to one of the most prestigious schools in the world.
They didn’t wash off when she found a billionaire love or when her parents got amazing jobs.
They didn’t wash off when she was constantly being called pretty by all the boys or when she started to work out.
They didn’t wash off when she hit thousands of followers on Instagram.
They didn’t wash off when she understood that sad depressing music wasn’t the best.
A lot of people saw this girl and wondered what in the world she could possibly be depressed or insecure about — her life was perfect!
How did it go away?
She finally saw for herself that for her insecurities to not have been able to die off with all the amazing things she had gotten, they weren’t implanted in her just because of her surroundings or because society or any of that.
Her insecurities were because, her.
You can’t give aspirin to a cancer patient and expect that to bring forth healing.
It wouldn’t do.
Where am I driving at?
Forget the ones who called you ugly.
Forget the ones who didn’t think you were enough.
Forget the ones who say all sort of shallow nonsense about you.
Forget that all the models are constantly selling a particular body type.
And now carry out this exercise with me:
– How many times have you weighed your worth to your achievements, to praises, to successes?
– How many times has your self-esteem increased because you got a lot of compliments that day?
– How many times have you looked at the next person and judged because of how you perceive the world judges you?
– How many times have you been jealous of a stranger because they got what you’ve been fighting for years to get?
– How many times have you gone to bed happier than you did last night because your last upload gathered plenty of likes, or views?
The problem is that we think what makes one person better than the other are these petty things.
It’s that you’ve already belittled yourself in your head.
It’s that you’ve subscribed to a lot of the wrong mindsets and everyday you’re waking up and going back to sleep with it.
So the other day, I used a personal selfie as my WhatsApp dp and a really close friend went:
“You’re so pretty, I just look so plain.”
And that photo was obviously filtered.
How do you compare a filtered selfie with a real face?
At this point, I can imagine someone thinking about the above exercise like:
But those are achievements, aren’t achievements the reason that bring smiles on faces?
And this is were I tell you, no.
That’s the problem.
When we can hit those marks that we see as obstacles, we feel way up.
We feel like we finally belong, we finally fit in.
And when we don’t, those demons torment us in our head.
We’re walking down the road and we’re tormenting ourselves.
We’re talking to a pretty friend and we’re tormenting ourselves.
We’re watching Trace and someone with a pretty smile comes on and you remember your pretty smile selfie no one said anything about and for the rest of the day we’re tormenting ourselves.
Do you really want to put the blame for that on someone else?
Because that doesn’t solve anything.
Are you happy with a you that’s constantly concerned about how you appear to everyone else,a you that feels threatened even when there is no reason to,a you that’s jealous, a you that’s uncomfortable, a you that’s angry with society because they’re the root of all this confusion, a you that’s tired, a you that cannot seem to find satisfaction?
I know, it’s not your doing.
You don’t want this. You didn’t voluntarily choose this life.
But you know what?
Only you can pull yourself out.
So, this week, look within and understand that:
– be a size 100, be a size 1,you are worthy.
are not worthy because some people are still into size 100, you’re not worthy because skinny is the new perfection, you are worthy because you are a unique soul, and because you have love flowing through your veins, and because someone loves you.
Yes. Hard to believe right?
But I promise you it’s true.
Remember that doesn’t change anything if you don’t love yourself though.
Which leads me to the second reminder:
– nothing will ever convince you you are worthy if you are not convinced you are worthy.
How do you convince yourself you a worthy?
Act like someone who is.
– nobody has the perfect life.
Trust me on this one.
I have a lot of prefect looking friends that people
approach me to connect them and to introduce them to and I just smile because I know so much they do not know.
Do not be fooled, everyone is fighting their own demon.
– insecurities will not disappear all at once, and if you have battled with it for too long, I can assure you that occasionally, it would rear it’s ugly head.
When it does, remember that you have the power to decide how you look at yourself.
The ones who think you’re the bomb and the ones who would bomb your house if they could do not matter at this point.
How do you, *insert your name*, want to look at yourself today?
– insecurity smells. Depression smells. Low self esteem smells.
And those who want to manipulate with it will.
People will play on it.
You will constantly keep getting mixed signals.
And all of it will mess with everything some more.
Stop letting yourself reek of it.
Fight it, friend. Fight it.
– all of your past mistakes and every wrong mentality you ever carried about yourself, wasn’t your fault, but can only be undone by you.
Darling blog reader, you are amazing.
But me saying that, doesn’t make you amazing.
Me saying that doesn’t do nothing, if you do not believe that.
Believe the right things.
Because you are everything right.
Act with that mentality.
Talk with that mentality.
Carry yourself with that mentality.
You can do it.
I’m done ranting.
What’s your take on this massive problem that even I battled with?
Please please please?
And if you know someone who struggles with esteem problems, I most likely won’t be able to get this to them.
Kindly use any of the share buttons — thank you!
Sending all of my love, I know it’s a Monday, but don’t be a Squidward — see you in December!
Deliciously Yours To Savour,
Ima | LemonsLemonade.com