| “The difficulties of life don’t stop attacking your self-worth and self-confidence, you just have to repair and fortify every time. Recall and recite it; tell yourself what you are worth.” |
― Innocent Mwatsikesimbe, The Vision
This wasn’t always a strong point of mine.
But then I came across some good people, read some good books,and finally took it upon myself to do me some good and stop being so hard on good ol’ me.
But it took a while before getting there.
Too long a time.
And sadly, I know I’m not the only one.
It’s so important a quality yet unfortunately rather unstable in the lives of too many of us.
Self-Confidence: My definition — The profound belief by one’s self about one’s own self, and a well above average trust in that unquenchable sparkle and all the potentials inbuilt in each of us.
It’s an aura irresistibly attractive to anyone who beholds it.
And so how do you grow one of these, and get it to develop (continuously), as healthily as possible?
Here are a few reminders to kick-start that:
1. No one could possibly fill your shoes quite right.
World population of about 7.4 billion humans and we all come in diverse packages filled with special goodies just waiting to be exploited. The knowledge that you clearly have a part to play in this world should gather up a sense of self-worth and importance. You are worthy and important.
2. Stop craving approval. Cut off the habit of needing others to acknowledge that which you think they should, for their permission, their green light, their support.
If you concur, if it sits well with you, that’s all that is required of it. Confidence is relying and depending on your own discernment and no one else’s.
And just like Shakti Gawain said and I rephrase, when we constantly suppress and distrust our intuitive knowingness, looking for validation from the eyes and lips of others, we’re giving away our own personal power. Don’t.
3. Play the part. Your mind is everything.
And so once you learn how to be in charge, the signals your body displays externally can be decided and handpicked by you.
What do I mean?
Want to present yourself as confidently as possible? Heads high, shoulders straight, and eye contact when necessary. Smooth, rhythmic, calm voice, strong and assertive, absence of the “uhms” and face touching and eyes dilating.
React confidently, reason confidently.
To project self-assuredness, it all starts from the mindset.
4. What people think of you is what people think of you.
People have opinions about you? Good for you. Means you’re obviously worth being thought and talked about.
We all have perceptions and opinions on people. Are they are pretty and pink? Nope. Has that succeeded in wiping those people off the face of the earth? We wish… but nope. They are our opinions and that’s all there is to it.
You have no idea of the deepest, darkest, most serious things that people think of you. None of us do. We have no idea of what their face looks like when our face randomly pops into their head when they’re in the shower.
And it’s not our headache. Especially if they can’t even say it to our face.
It doesn’t warrant any attention.
5. You could do without toxicity and toxic people around you and you have every right to evict anyone in or around your life who emits bad vibes your way.
You have every permission to feel positive and awesome and at peace with yourself and anything telling you otherwise, making you question your worthiness, your uniqueness, in any form, should be cut off.
6. Society is after us all, I suggest we run.
Every day, it’s planting seeds of anxiety, pressure and insufficiency and all other lies in the hearts and minds of anyone willing to give it a listening ear.
Don’t be willing. Don’t give it the permission to dictate your life and living. Don’t measure your set standard with its examples. You will never live up to it long enough (or at all).
7. Looking good is good best.
Females especially would understand how our confidence skyrockets a thousand and one percent higher when we’re “dressed to kill”.
But hey, everyone is attracted to an eye candy physical appearance, and so even our own personal eyes to ourselves isn’t exempted.
It knows when we look good and it’s a good feeling.
So with every opportunity, generate that feeling for yourself.
8. Talk about how you’re feeling more. Research states that keeping emotions bottled in bursts out often as panic attacks, anxiety, timidity and other emotional imbalances. Expressing yourself showcases a progressive nature, it drives away weakness, because having a voice means taking a stance, it’s putting you under the spotlight, and it’s being unapologetic about it all.
Never be unsure of giving your own opinion regarding a matter you deem important. With each of us possessing a distinct voice, every point of view matters.
9. Some people will never fancy you. Come to terms with that, know where you’re being a burden, and curve yourself without any ego bruise.
Why? It is but a normal phase of life. Do you like every single person you’ve come across? No? No. Some people will hate your guts. Sometimes, for no reason whatsoever. Stop taking it personal and keep your confidence well hidden from their kind.
10. Think positive thoughts. Every time. About everything.
View your life in good light. Think uplifting thoughts. Think beneficial thoughts.
11. Get out Of Your Comfort Zones more often; it builds up how confident you consider yourself. Be enthusiastic about taking “promising risks”, try out new heights.
Shy around people? Try to make a new acquaintance each week.
Whatever it is, push yourself.
Learn how to be okay with challenges, learn how to find comfort in discomfort. This way, you’re daring yourself to achieve so much more, and don’t you remember how good winning dares always feel?
12. Hide away your flaws less. It forces you to get comfortable in your “nakedness” and vulnerability. In plain terms, let’s take it easy with those concealers and foundations of ours, with the filters and editing (and Photoshop), the push-up under garments and every other mask comfortable to hide beneath.
I wear glasses, always have and I never liked to put them on in public, (even though I’m almost half blind without them).
Now I’m learning to rock them even when I don’t have to.
Imperfections are perfectly lovable.
13. Spoil yourself every once in a while (or much more often). It’ll help you to naturally feel much better about yourself. Some good self-loving and a credit card can never go wrong.
14. Criticism is a good thing. It’s nothing to get worried about. Either a factual criticism (a softer kind, pointing out right from wrong), or the evaluative criticism (the harder, more detailed kind), the objective is to get you to notice a fault, even if you think it’s been slightly (or a whole lot) exaggerated.
But there’s a point to be noticed there.
Notice the point, brush off any other excess.
Keep learning, keep growing.
15. Celebrate your achievements.
If you can’t learn to appreciate yourself in appropriate situations, you intentionally begin to belittle yourself.
No milestone is ever too minuscule or insignificance, as long as you moved from some other position there, so give yourself credit and cultivate the healthy habit of celebrating your own self.
16. Focus on your own goals. What achievements do you have your eyes set on? Pour in as much of your energy and resources into it. The euphoria that accompanies the reward at the end of the day is second to none.
17. Like I have been hammering for a while now, no one is your competition, and anyone trying to make you a rivalry is only acting as a distraction from you focusing on the only thing worthwhile: You.
So stop regarding anybody in that light.
18. You won’t die the times you embarrass yourself or make an error, I promise you.
People will forget.
After a while, you forget to remember it too.
So give yourself a break.
19. Stop looking for love outside. Grow it within. If you can’t find any value in you, if you don’t think you’re worth it, no one would do that piece of work for you.
If you cannot see it, how and why do you expect them to?
20. Work Out. Plenty. Apart from the good work it’ll do physically, in regards to weight loss and a better looking body, those good kind of hormones released after a great workout puts a spike in your confidence level.
And finally and I believe , most importantly;
21. Remember that most times, Confidence Is Really All You Need
Have you come across people that just reek of a crazy amount of self-confident especially when we feel they really shouldn’t?
A person giving an off topic speech, but with all the enthusiasm and confidence in the world?
That overconfident 24/7, 7 days a week dork, after the prettiest girls only?
The three year old baby wagging her naked buttocks to her favourite nursery rhyme before her parents?
It’s like they’re totally oblivious to their obvious lapses, yeah?
Take a cue from them.
Come along with all the confidence you can gather, bring it to the table, and never drop it for a nano-second, with all the side attractions of your imperfections, a wide eyed smile and that healthy self-image smell!
Got any self-confidence tip that works wonders for you?
I’d love to hear it!
Have a great week ahead!
And one more thing:
If this article was helpful, please take the time out to leave me a comment and share with anyone you think needs this too. It means a lot to me every time!
Deliciously Yours To Savour,