Eight Seemingly Harmless Activities To Consider Giving Up When Insecure

We’re going to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.” |

Beth Moore, So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been A Bad Friend To Us
 

Note: This is an article inspired by another reader of mine, Femi.
As always, you’re welcome to hit me up with article ideas you’d love to read.

If you would like the audio version (Podcast) of this article, for the next seven days,it’s right here!
If you’d like it after that period of time, simply leave me a comment below and I’d get it to you asap.
 
 
(This article centers on our favourite activities that need to be laid aside during those trying moments of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem for whatsoever reason.
However even when you do not fall into this category, as many of these you can do away with — do away with. I urge you. I’d give you a reason too.)
 
 
Everybody would tell you Insecurities are made up in that head of yours, (which of course, is super true) and that you only need to change the way you look at yourself.

Well, yes and no.

You definitely need to start giving your awesome self more credit for all that you are , no doubt, but lately, I found out something.

It’s more than that. It’s more than viewing yourself in a better light.

You also got some filtering to do. You got some trash to take out, and I’m here to help you carry those overflowing bags out already.

What do I mean?

To get rid of those feelings, some things have to give way.

So today I’m sharing a couple of them, so common we almost never see anything harmful, but that’ll do you plenty of good if dumped.
Or at least you should consider putting aside for a while, if you find yourself struggling with insecurities you’re not even sure of the sources.
Let’s go!

 

1. In Your Bed, All The Time
Once, I was super guilty of this by the way.
And so, I won’t ask that you take out and burn this furniture.
But your bed is one of your friendliest enemies at this time for you.
Why?
The last thing you need, is isolation.

Insecurities thrive in them.
They freely crawl all around your head and sprinkle plenty of harm all over.
You get to play around with them all day in a very comfortable position.

Try being as insecure as you let yourself be under those duvets in a public place like school or at the office or even a park — somewhere populated.
It’s harder!
You have to pull yourself together to an extent.
Maybe because you won’t know how to explain yourself to others. Or want to.
Bottom line; Everything negative thrives in darkness and desertion.
Stepping out into the sunny sunlight alone has a way of lightening you up instantly.
So get around some company (not necessarily get some company — I hope you see the difference), for a start.

 

2. Instagram
Social media sucks. To me.
All of them.
If I didn’t own a Blog and have to depend on traffic from a number of social medias, I can confidently tell you I won’t be on any. Not one. And everyday I pray for a day I can close down all. But I’d show you why I’m talking Instagram here.
It’s so fake, that has become attractive.
And I see how almost everyone is sucked into it. I bet you do too.
Like a tweet from an account on Twitter I follow said: Instagram is all about “See how perfect my life looks!” (I liked that he used “looks” and not “is”),and too many of us believe that!
Less than a year ago, a 19 year old model with millions of followers from over five years finally opened up, and you can read the full story of how tired of all the fakeness she was, at a point talking about how messed up it was that she was paid attention to because she looked pretty, and how absorbed in vanity society is.
And this is just one of the plenty plenty obsessively stalk.
The full story, if you have the time, is here.
Personal Development, Life, How To, Self esteem,
Insecurity, Life, How To, SelfEsteem, PersonalDevelopment
Life, self worth, How to

Darling, it’s just an Instagram account. It’s not real life. It’s 2D.
 
3. Filters (No, I’m not Talking Snapchat)
We intensely feel the need to hide the blemishes in our lives, when we become overwhelmed with it badly.
To cover it. Kick it under the bed. Try to make it not look so bad.
Cover those spots with concealers.
Go out and forget all the aches and appear happy for some hours through any means.
Attempt at all cost to live a life we know isn’t real when our reality becomes far from what we fantasized.
We don’t see one thing though.
Those moments are the exact times to embrace all of those.
Embrace your imperfections. Come to peace with your loss. Face your deepest fears. Stare hard at the scary ugliness. Look at it!
Hiding away these things like they aren’t there doesn’t make them disappear.
In the eyes of others, maybe, but in our heads, it never goes away.
 
4. Instant Messaging

via GIPHY

I’m learning to text less. And I have never been more happy.
This was a major step for me,and sometimes I have no choice because of my busy schedule, but texting should always be the last resort.
Go out. Grab lunch. Touch hands. Whisper your heartaches. Sit and communicate with your lips, not your thumbs.
Because “e-talking”, ruins relationships more than we see at first.
How?
Just as an article I read says:
“…because text messaging cannot accurately convey tone, emotion, facial expressions, gestures, body language, eye contact, oral speech, or face-to-face conversation, it is likely messages will be misinterpreted or misunderstood. The real meaning of your message gets lost through the medium”
You need real conversations. And yes, there is a massive difference.
 
5. Over-indulging in Romantic and #SquadGoals Shenanigans
Yes. I call it Shenanigans.
Here, meaning silly and sincerely, overly hyped today.
We all love to feel loved, mostly from those we love. And that’s great.
But that has sadly become a surviving factor for too many of us. And that’s far from great.
Now, all over, movies, books, music, speaks of how beautiful love is and how over the moon you’d be floating and how it should look and feel like when people love you.
And so, the average person that cannot seem to find someone falls into a state of self-pity and insecurity.
“Am I too ugly? Too dark-skinned? Too boring? Big head?(like mine).
And so this person gets desperate for some sort of comfort.
Gets lost in some Mills and Boon or another cute book and tortures him or herself with all he or she does not and would never have.
Life is beautiful. Life is colorful. And life is meant to be seen and lived. With or without someone else.
It’s no fantasy world. There is no Prince Charming. No Cinderella.
And when you feel you’ve found something closely related, he or she would never know how to love you like he or she would love him or herself.
No bestie would ever treat you as they would treat ttheir self.
It’s life. And it’s the reality.
So spoil you. And love you. With or without someone else.
Like someone said, it’s no more “Be with someone that makes you happy.” Rather, “Be someone that makes you happy”.
 
6. Depressing Music

via GIPHY

Cold night. Home alone. Nobody’s online on WhatsApp. Cold bed.
Thunder rumbles. It starts to pour hard.
What song are you hitting “Play”?
We know them, don’t we? The ones that make us miss the people we haven’t even met yet
Addicting and comforting — but stop.
But these artistes recorded this songs for situations like this, did they not?
They did. But you know what?
They recorded it. You’re in it.
One is more real and more dangerous to be toyed with just anyhow.
The time you need to listen to some I-feel-alone track is when you should most definitely put in something fun and lighthearted.
Your heart and your ears crave something to mess those feelings up some more, but it’s harder to find your way out that way.
Real hard.
So stop.
 
7. Talking Talks That Have Nothing To Do With You
This is fun, eh?
Now, not necessarily gossip, mind you.
More like idle talk.
You know why this is terrible for you?
This is when you think you’d think you need to grow a judgemental spirit unconsciously, because you feel pretty much judged.
How short that dress was, (even though you also loved the color) and how crazy he is (leaving out the part that you admire his guts too).
And the funny part? It actually makes you think you now feel better.
But it doesn’t.
Idle talk doesn’t make you a better person.
Fire because you feel fire only burns you again. Hard.
 
8. Giving Compliments Or Criticism Much Thoughts

You might wonder — shouldn’t you be snatching and feeding hungrily on every single compliment thrown your way, most especially now?
No.
No, you shouldn’t.
Your self-worth does not increase or depreciate when a million admirers tell you or a billion family members don’t.
It doesn’t hang midway. It’s no fertilizer. It adds nothing to you. It takes away nothing.
Never let yourself get to the point of needing to hear it before you see it for yourself.
Hear them. Smile at them. Consider them. Leave.
And the times you don’t hear them?
See them. Smile at the beautiful thoughts of them. Consider them. Live.
 
Life, How To, Dealing With Depression, Insecurity
 
Sometimes, we don’t understand why we’re all down and feel neglected and alone.
Well sometimes, just sometimes, these are a couple of the reasons we don’t always remember.
Never underestimate them.
Quick P.s – I had a quick conversation with a tight friend before posting this and he said something that I just had to chip in here:
Insecurities would always be after you. They never totally evaporate in all areas of life. Just don’t give up on yourself. Don’t you ever.
And again, Never underestimate them.
Have an awesome week!
 
If You Liked Reading This As Much As I Loved Writing It, Or You’ve Got Anything In Mind Really, I’d Love To Hear Your Thoughts Through The Comments Section(And Do Share This Article With Anyone You Think Needs It!)

 
Deliciously Yours To Savour,
LemonsLemonade.com
 

More Juice?

  • A/Azeez

    I like this a lot, very compact! Its almost like if one doesn’t talk to you like a family, one is certainly your reflection in a moment of insecurity. Hopefully it’d help us all a lot.

    • Yeah
      You get the point
      Thank you so much for reading, and I do hope it helps too ☺

  • Great read and inspiring.

  • Killy

    Ima just killed me with the podcast, it was wonderful, and Thank God i saved to download it. I was recently talking to a friend about some insecurities (before i listened to the podcast) and when i was listening to it, it felt like she was actually talking to me, the podcast was greatbtw i truely agree with you on how fake social media is especially…….

    • Thank you soo much Killy!
      I’m so glad it was helpful and relatable
      And yes, so much fake all over social medias, I hope more people realize this soon.

    • Great read

  • Ayo

    damn I’m so guilty.. Like this article is talking to just me.. only.. Come stay with me nau.I love you. I love this.. I just need a change. Chai. Thank you Ima ˜ž

    • Hehe aww
      Thank you Ayo! It sincerely means a lot to me.
      And don’t be hard on yourself, we have all been guilty at one time or another in our lives.
      We all learn daily.
      Thank you for your awesome comment, and I’d definitely be staying right here ☺☺☺

  • Hemarh Nuel

    This article really made an impact in my life,though have not been so obsessed with the social media Ish.but concerning the Filter aspect,well am always fascinated about great graphics,so whenever i come across a fascinating pics,i would wanna give it a try.
    And Ima,i would like to say a Big ”THANK YOU” to you,cause have always learnt a lesson or two, from every article on this Blog,you ‘re a Blessing.

    • Thank you so much Emmanuel ☺
      I truly appreciate it!

  • Doris Amaka

    Recently I had a lot of issues with insecurity and it’s funny how it pierces even through the strongest of persons…I got a lot from this, thank you!

    • Yeah, no one is perfect, it’s a daily work on ourselves.
      Glad I could help, thanks for dropping in!

  • So true about Instagram and cliche romantic movies!! I dont know if I can ever turn down depressing music but I’m working at it. This post is so true!! And thanks for redirecting me to your blog!

    • You’re very welcome!
      Thanks for popping in ☺

  • Oh this is so inspiring.. I guess i needed this..thanks a ton for sharing! 🙂

    • I’m glad it was helpful ☺
      And you’re welcome!

  • Bilingualvegetable

    Hello. I would like you to know that I think that you’re awesome and for that reason I have nominated you for The Sunshine Blogger Award. Please check the link below for details.
    https://ramblingsofaboredteen.wordpress.com/2016/09/18/sunshine-blogger-award/

    • Aww,thank you so much!
      First award ☺☺☺

  • Nifesimi

    I love this..so inspiring….just seem to help man always thanks Ima

    • Thank you so much dear! Glad it was helpful! I totally appreciate all your feedbacks ☺

  • Olaitan

    This post is so nice. It’s literally everything. Instagram annoys me, gosh. I just joined few weeks ago just because of the blog. It’s fake. Really fake. And I made a mental note not to follow people that’d even make me think less of myself or close to that.
    Laitanbee Blog

    • Hmm
      You couldn’t have said it any better.
      My elder sister just joined because she she loves watching funny Instagram videos and she has been saying the exact same.
      She only follows her close friends and family, no one else.
      I have to be there to because of my blog like I mentioned, but I have turned my personal Instagram page private cos I really don’t need all that junk.

  • This is a great read. It’s so relatable to many, yet practical. You echoed so many of my thoughts like social media, texting, filters etc. I’d like to share it as a guest article on my blog. You can get in touch via submissions@memkoh.com

    • Thank you so much!
      And I’d be honored to have it as a guest post on your site
      I’d get in touch with you asap 🙂