The Reason We Don’t Know How To Feel Good Enough On The Outside


This is a 1600 words post.

If youd like to listen to this article instead, its right here . Let’s go!


People only picked the pretty, sweetsmelling flowersThe ones with thorns were left alone.”


Nenia Campbell, Fearscape.



       Today,two people will share the blame equally.

(No complaining).
Ourselves and our society.

I thought I should start with that statement.

Secondly, perfection in beauty (and really, almost in everything else), is but an illusion mostly because of it’s vastness.
I hope for a couple of seconds you let that sink in if it never has before.

 Let that resonate in your mind.
 It is not real. 

It is a façade and it is a lie too many people have subscribed to because it is one beautiful dreamy, oh-if-only-it-were-true sort of lie.

 It’s why Photoshop and Plastic Surgery are selling and selling pretty awesomely(and we girls are learning contour).

And those waist trainers that have been proven by top medical surgeons and practitioners to lead to squashed rib cages and displaced organs in the long term are still “needed”,plus our bleaching creams toning creams and pretty much everything that came along with the jet age.

It’s why almost every (if not every) single person deemed as perfect by the majority of today’s earth population has been through one of these two. 

Or both. 

Maybe more.


And it’s why we can’t help but feel insufficient if we don’t succumb to these norms.
  Keep in mind that no one is alone in this really-far-from-good-looking mindset.

It’s not the best,but it has become common.

Insecurities sadly rule in today’s world,and so remember that you are not battling this solely.

And also that people have won this war too.

So it is definitely mission-possible to find your happy place. 
So why is there so much obsession with this thing called beauty anyway?



Need I bother to ask which colour appears more attractive to our eyes?

We’d all have our opinions.

It is also like asking who’s prettier; a slim and somewhat skinny person or someone with plenty of flesh.
Because everyone would prefer what they like. Some people regard skinny are terrible and prefer plenty of flesh. Some do not.
That’s how it works. Naturally.
We would always be attracted to things that fit into the criteria of what beauty should look like in our heads.
Just like a person who loves the colour black and doesn’t really dig white would most likely pick a black hover-board over a white. 

It’s perfectly normal. Tastes differ. 

The real problem arises when the white hover-board thinks it has to be dyed black because it looks like that’s what’s selling.
Because really,is there any permanent selling point in this department? 

And of course, it’s like society just expects you to not be comfortable with yourself when you aren’t fitting in like you supposedly should. 

There has to be something wrong when you haven’t started panicking.

How do you expect to find anyone who’ll love you like that? 

How can you be happy with you?

How can you not battle depression when you aren’t light skinned or tall enough or you inherited a nose as far-from-thin as mine?
And so you commence that journey.

But we forget one key part of this race though: 
There would never be an end; nobody remembered to draw a finish line.

And you will have to get burnt out.

 You would have to fall flat on your face out of exhaustion and most likely get up to the need to keep going at it.

Because there is so much to keep up with.

And that’s why we struggle to feel adequate enough.

Because we haven’t defined these things for ourselves — and neither has Society. 
There would never be one durable, ideal Ideology of what attractiveness should be according to Society’s Manual.

Heck, it is such a heavy book no one is ever going to understand everything about it!

(Maybe because they won’t just stop adding more pages to it).

And so the day we put up permanent limitations to just how far society rules over us, we will find rest.
     Just as the wise words of Melissa McCarthy says:
Self image, Beauty, Beauty goals, How to, Personal development


It never does.
It can’t possibly.
And we know it.
This post isn’t intended to say you shouldn’t bother one bit about the you on the outsides.

You should,most definitely. 
If taking care of your skin boosts your self-confidence up the ground floor (and all the way up thousands flight of stairs), take care of that skin. 

If working out makes you feel better, go ahead.

However,if you can’t imagine going without your concealer to hide that zit or a face cap for that blemish, if all you do are squats and bodybuilding rather than every healthy exercise, if your entire self worth lives and dies on it, you’re better off without all of that.

I know it may look easy for me to sit here and go on about how you should and shouldn’t feel,but believe me when I say I have been there and I have thought of myself inadequate and then I have thought of myself more than adequate so yes, you have every single approval needed to be comfortable with yourself.
So stop expecting love if you aren’t willing to love you first.

Did I hear you ask a why?

(I really do hope you asked a why.)
Because You.

Because it is time to give yourself a break.

It all boils down to you.
No one gets to handpick their look before dropping to planet Earth.


But we all came here, with our own uniqueness and our own flaws and each tiny bit makes up all that we are.
And is it just me, or do the things we like least about our bodies turn out more often to not be as serious as we always take it to be to others?

 It’s all because beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder!

We all know at least one person whose face cannot even be quarter as beautiful as their heart.

Don’t we ask ourselves why?

| When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent of his skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. 

You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.|

― Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

Beneath the reflection you see in the mirror made of dust and sand is another and the more important you.
Do you even have time to sprinkle beauty all the way there too?
That You needs you.

That You needs your love and your support.

It doesn’t need you hating on You and you. (Don’t be confused. Hehe).

There is nothing wrong with our heights.

There is nothing wrong with our lips,and our bodies and our waists.

There is nothing wrong with anything on our external. 

It’s all oozing from the insides. Do we not see it?

It’s our minds that needs filtering.

It’s our thinking that needs surgery.

Its our perceptions that need photo-shop.

But you know why we haven’t gone in for them yet?

It’s expensive.Very expensive.

And you know the price we each have to pay? Society. And all it’s lies.  

And at the end of the day, be a Mr/Miss Universe or be the first to be eliminated but you know what? Everyone still won’t like your face. 

Everyone won’t like your “fleekness”. 

Everyone won’t like your fair skin. Everyone won’t like a muscular body. 

But they are yours,they are beauty to some and ugliness to others and you to you.

 So stop letting things of less importance hold you back from what should be priority.

One more thing before I wrap up. 

I noticed that one common reason we don’t feel we’re beautiful enough is because we want to hear it and haven’t or maybe it can from the wrong mouth. 

Compliments are awesome but no,you don’t have to need to hear it.

 It’s why too many people fall gullible. Because there’s still something called lies and flattery.
Please note:
You are all together lovely before anyone would open their own lips to tell you,after anyone would open their own lips to tell you,and when anyone stops telling you.

 When you get old and it begins to tell all over your body.

When you cut all your hair off.

When you are underdressed.

When you didn’t have time to do makeup.

When you take off all the makeup.
If you need to hear it that bad, say it to yourself. Stand right in front of your mirror and look into your eyes and tell yourself how beautiful you are.
Someone might think: “Oh please,that doesn’t make any sense”. 

Really? It doesn’t?

 It only makes sense when someone else says it? But you, who knows yourself inside out,hears every laughter,feels that constant heartbeat within you quicken when excited, the way your entire body lights up when you’re at something you absolutely love? 

When you shower and how each limb,every joint,every miniature curve and edge all blend  beautifully,when you pull yourself together after that terrifying situation,you who sees yourself 24/7 every day of every week in every situation and in every manner can’t say it? 

But someone you’d only let see you after your face looks just right and you’re out of those baggy nighties and into something fitted and fine can? 





If You Liked Reading This Post As Much As I Loved Writing And Making My Audios, I’d Love To Hear Your Thoughts Through The Comments Section!


Deliciously Yours To Savour,

More Juice?

  • Hemarh Nuel

    This is a great write up and also an inspiring one too,well i think have Learnt to” Love Myself” and also to ”Love Who I Am”.much thanks to you,IMA.ure blessed.

  • Thank you Emmanuel ☺
    I’m so glad I could help
    Have a great weekend!

  • James Pharrell

    This is a wonderful article,
    good write up and style with an even better message.
    I learnt so much from it, keep it up.

  • I’m glad you did, James.
    Thank you so much for the good feedback and thanks for stopping by ☺

  • Doris Amaka

    So much truths in this

  • Doris Amaka

    Lots of answers here

  • Thank you so much Doris ☺

  • joy

    I love this, keep it up dear. Hope to meet you soon.

    • I will Joy!
      I do hope you see you soon too, thanks for stopping by ☺